Remember in the award-winning film "Sophie's Choice", Sophie is asking "what is the truth? What a moving moment in cinema, and Meryl Streep gave such a heart wrenching performance and won an Oscar too. One can only imagine the anguish a mother would experience having to choose between which one of her two children she would take with her, forced to leave the other behind. Something none of us as mothers would ever want to endure. Why am I bringing up this moment in film so long ago?
I did have to make that kind of choice once. My past came up the other day in a conversation with my daughter who had some questions. She was so young when I went thru the most devastating divorce, I was only capable of taking my daughter and leaving my two sons behind with their father. Having at that time a very low opinion of myself and what I could handle, I chose to leave my sons and only have my daughter live with me. When I was in front of the judge getting my divorce finalized, he gave me such a reaming for having made that choice.
All the years that followed, I had my sons quite a bit but they still were much more influenced by their father than I. Observing my children now, all living adult lives, amazed at how time has truly flown by, they all seem to be doing really well, Having that conversation with my youngest the other day, my daughter Amalia, I noticed the 3 of them are making an effort to connect and love one another. It's not easy for my middle son, but I do think there will be a time when they will have a familial bond that is special.
I was moved to write this because it is cathartic and for years I felt such guilt for having split them up but I have recently reconciled my past, forgiven myself, my children's father and noticed how freeing it is. We all do the best we can, and if we knew better we would do better. It's been said before, on Oprah and God knows where else but I'm convinced I did the best job with my children I could possibly with the tools I had at the time. So the truth is, I have been blessed, with wonderful children who I know love me and they know I love them. That's what really counts. And no one is on drugs, in trouble with the law, or any other egregious possibility a parent may have to face with children. I have so much to be grateful for!! Thank you God!
There are 26 days left for the Indie-Go-Go campaign for my film "The Eternal Rhythm" a global revelation of drum, dance and song. If you read this, go watch the trailer and if you like the film I'm trying to complete, become a donor and you will have my undying gratitude.
