It's the Journey, not the Destination

Growing, growing, gone... that's how I feel my life is progressing at this point. I'm forever growing and changing but I'm always aware in the hidden pockets of my soul that there will be a day or night that arrives and I will get to check out of this fleshy envelope and move on. In the meantime, I'm progressing by "leaps and bounds" whatever that means but it sounds good. We never stop growing and learning do we.

I found, or maybe I should say, she found me, a remarkable acting/singing coach/teacher in the form of Carole D'Andrea. Once married to the actor Robert Morse, who I have always admired, I found a place of such nurturing, and soulful artistic expression, like nothing I've experienced before, anywhere. She doesnt' care if I'm not only over the hill, but down in the valley. She recognizes my talents and the passion I have for expressing them. I feel like I've come alive again to the gifts I know God gave me. I love giving them back too.

So as I began to watch a trailer for a film that is preparing production, the first quote that came on the screen is "Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God." How very synchronistic. I don't know if that's even a word but it works for what I'm learning about life, my place here and what I'm supposed to be doing with my gifts. We all have them. How I've thrown away so many opportunities away to express my gifts because of fear and low self-esteem. Not any more. I'm gonna go for it, finally. As Bill Cosby says "you need to decide you want something more than your afraid of it." That time has arrived. So here is to You, God.

The Truth Will Set You Free

Don't you just love those words, "the truth will set you free." So what is the "truth" and you will be set free from "what?" Okay, so as we all know, someone's truth is another man's lie. We can argue that forever. I created this blog because I heard this expression so much in my life "if the truth be told." It just depends on who's telling the truth and who does it apply to. My truths are simple, I know that surrender to the Highest Power is absolutely necessary in this life if one wants to live in serenity and peace. I know that I have to love all humankind, not just a select few, because those were my instructions long ago, the time when I heard the voice say, after I pleaded to the universe during my out of body experience "it's not time to go yet" and the booming voice answered, "well, if you go back you must love all mankind."

A weighty assignment indeed... but in all the years following I've discovered, it's not so much loving "all mankind" but learning to love myself, and knowing how much God loves me. I also found using the word humankind in reference to everyone is a bit more all embracing. So there you have it. My once in a lifetime, out of body experience. No bright lights, singing angels, just a loud voice giving me my marching orders. It's been a long, sometimes blissful, sometimes horrific road but I'm finally in a place of such self-love and gratitude. I know what I'm supposed to do now. Be the joy, be the love, be the very temporal entity that I have been given to be, living in the now and truly loving my brothers and sisters. I don't care what the media, TV/Film dictates. Fear nothing and surrender to the most loving God. Magic, mystery, freedom and delight will be had! If we but surrender and trust. Oh, I heard that booming voice one other time in my life, it said "you have nothing to worry about." Now who wouldn't want to hear something like that, I tell ya? Have a wonderful day, week, life!! Peace & Love

Truth About People

Ever wonder if your initial reaction to someone is the best indicator to their character or inner persona? People can be so charming and convincing when you first meet them and then the truth is revealed and after awhile you see the real person. I had two experiences lately and it's my own fault if I was taken in by one man. When money is at stake, one will believe anything or have expectations that inevitably get shattered. The other fellow I encountered is the real deal and it was a fair example of how I can trust my gut after all.

It's interesting how I keep learning to be aware of how people behave in the beginning of any kind of relationship, be it business, social, or personal. This is a time of great change for me. I'm seeing my own divinity, discovering how much I have within me that is important to share with the world, and finding ways to do this. So it's good to really find a way to trust that first encounter instinct and not lose sight of it's importance.

I've been isolating a lot this year. Coming out only if I really had to do something outside of my home. I'm meeting so many wonderful people and it's time for me to get out there and make a name for myself. I'm also paying attention to how people treat me because I'll remember not to behave that way I found so offensive, because I certainly desire to avoid working with folks who are deceptive and phony. So I learn from the harsh lessons of how people can be in this world and know never to be like them.

But it's a process isn't it? I'm just grateful to know that I can accept all that comes to me as great lessons, ones that I can put into practice in this crazy world of show biz, my immediate circle of friends and the world I encounter. I wish you all experiences that will teach the best lessons as we continue to learn to love and forgive. Ourselves and others! We must be able to trust in this life, ourselves and others. Best of luck!

Do It With Others

The winner of the Roy W. Grant awarded by From the Heart Productions has gone to Beth Harrington's "The Winding Stream" about the Carter Family with the last interviews given by Johnny Cash and June Carter. It's an excellent documentary and I'm not really a fan of Country Music but I love this film. Speaking of documentaries, so much support pouring in for my own documentary film... including from Beth Harrington herself. What a fabulous lady!

You can also watch the trailer to my documentary "The Eternal Rhythm" now without the IGG pitch. I hope someone will fall in love with what I'm trying to do and want to support the film and make sure it gets made. I'm certainly praying and trusting God wants me to see this to fruition. (His idea in the first place).... I'm working on getting to New Jersey to film this amazing group, Marafanyi, get some interviews, shoot a performance. They sent out this wonderful e-mail to all their friends and donations are coming in. They must have a fabulous following. I sure am impressed.

Thanks to all of you who support positive, uplifting projects. God bless, Pilar

Our Connectedness is Real

I want to talk about our oneness, how we are all connected.  It's a state of mind, because now that so much is being said about quantum physics and how we create our reality, all the good stuff as well as the bad, the reality is that it does all comes from our own mind.   I know now for sure one of the biggest lessons I've learned recently is when someone offends me or attempts to make me feel bad, I can just go to my Source/God/Higher Power and ask that I be forgiven for ever behaving that way towards another.   The freedom from another's harsh criticism can surely be felt when one honestly feels within themselves that we are capable of doing, acting, behaving in that same way.  Maybe we don't do it anymore.... but for some reason we know that we can be just like anyone else, reacting from our own hurt or pain to another's actions.  I had to do this with a family member who seems to find pleasure in finding fault with me all the time.  I have released this person from my feelings and pray that they will find out, how important it is to look at oneself first before projecting onto another their bad feelings.   It's not an easy exercise but I'm diligently practicing it the best I can.  So I will maintain my feeling of oneness, the connection we have during this lifetime; it isn't visible but it does exist.  God bless you who will read this and understand.  Human behavior is such a mystery.  But we don't have to fall victim to misunderstandings or blame.  I love myself too much now to allow that.  Peace & Love!!

Working as Make-Up Artist ... again!

You can see a bit of my makeup artist work at my website now, Sample Work on the About Us page. Well, I guess times dictate that one can't leave any talent behind that one has. So if I can do something I enjoy, even though it may not be my main passion in life, and make a bit of income, well, so be it. I did have a rockin time working as a make-up artist with my editor. It's funny how so many of us wear a lot of different hats. So my editor Jeremy is the director/writer for a new webisode called "4some", your typical 20-something sexcapades series of silliness. Don't tell him I said that, lol... Okay, so meeting all these young actors is good for when I get my own film into production. So much good and good-lookin' talent out there. It's good to see how someone works and conducts themselves so you know you would or would not want to work with them. So important to be nice on the way up, way down, going sideways. I know that I will always remember the jerks who acted badly and their fate is sealed with me for any future projects. I love the truly hard-working, humble folk who are friendly and fun but also do a good job. I hope to do some more work with them in the future. BTW, I'm the one who came up with the idea of lipstick all over Michael in the photo, and now they have putit in on their logo. The image of the kiss that is... Well, onward thru the fog.

A Day Drumming at Griffith Park

What a glorious day at Griffith Park yesterday, Saturday, dancing with the infamous drumming circle. Meeting all sorts of groovy folks. Hanging out with Craig Casey, kinda my main squeeze at the moment. God knows what you need before you ask for it!! This is what my film is all about

"The Eternal Rhythm", the feeling of friendship, community with complete strangers but we aren't really. Met crazy James Parra too. Drummer par excellence. What a day. Then off to the Coffee Table restaurant in Silverlake for the best Chicken Lime salad. OMG, that was sublime. LA might have it's shortcomings but one can find a bit of Nirvana in the corners and off the beaten track places if one looks. Nothing like dancing to drums!!! Beautiful, beautiful day!! Thank you God!!