Whoa, okay, so what was with this person yesterday spewing all this oral toxic banter at me? Someone I don't even know, who was on my Facebook friends list(she's gone now) telling me how my blog was unreadable and so many other negative things I didn't even bother to read it. The tone was apparently harmful and I didn't need to fill my mind with anything that was negative. I love myself too much to allow people to bring me down. What was ironic is that a friend of mine went through the exact same thing earlier that day, and he asked me to help him control his anger. I gave him what I thought were some words of wisdom and also a recent experience of mine. I discovered that not only is someone's anger and negativity all belong to the person who is spewing, having nothing to do with us, but that person only acts in that manner because they are in a lot of pain. The are hurting and this is the only way they know to reach out, basically saying, "please, pay attention to me, I hurt and I need help and someone to acknowledge my needs." Something to that effect.
I learned that wonderful lesson most recently, having been the one who was spewing and criticising others. I was in pain and I wanted someone to just make it better. So if the truth be told, I'm so grateful for the insight and happy that I could pass that info onto another. All of us on our journey to have love, give love and be love along with compassion will no doubt run into others who have to express themselves the only way they know how. With hurt, anger and criticism. Detaching with love, a wonderful Al-Anon concept works really good here. Loving the other person and loving ourselves so not to take in the junk. I love and approve of myself is a phrase I have been putting down in my morning pages for years. I know it seems like a lofty aspiration but as I have mentioned in my blog before, I have no choice. I must learn to love All Mankind and not just the ones that are easy to love but the ones who want to destroy me. I pray that I will be protected from all that uninvited anger and frustration and will not be a person who dumps it either. Wishing you, my lone readers, a blessed weekend!
The loving of all Humankind is easy... we're all just human, and it's kid of a big, vague concept with no way to practice it, really. The fun starts when we must deal with an individual who is toxic, or damaged, or deluded - and we find we must keep our boundaries in place, strengthened against the onslaught to the offender. Loving them doesn't necessarily mean smiling, being meek, etc., so much as honest and clear, even if it is just to say, "I don't want to be around this right now," and walking away. That's when we start to see the depth of the saying, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
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