I voted for Al Gore, I wanted him to be President and so did most of the country. Bush fenagled his way into the White House and it was a very depressing time for America. I know we are in the mess we are in because of his politics. I have never had it so hard before. So now that we have a new President, who I pray will deliver, and if nothing else he has a sense of humor and a beautiful family, God-willing things will improve. Because I'm not one to spend too much time talking or thinking about politics, I feel that we got it right putting Obama in the White House. I can identify with him. I lived in Hawaii for 11 years, I stayed in Indonesia for a month and have connections there and I embraced Islam in the seventies(but am a Christian now). Kinda woo-woo but that's not why I voted for him. I just knew in my heart he would be a whole lot better than the other guy. What is funny for me is that all of a sudden I have all these new friends and they are all African-American. My housemate is even a black woman and I couldn't be happier getting closer to my new friends. I have one black male gay friend who I absolutely adore. He's so special to me. So why is this? Did Obama getting in the White House allow for this blending of the races, at least in my life. I had one black boy friend once years ago, a very well-known jazz flute player. I felt like his back door girl. He never introduced me to his family or felt inclined to include me in many of his activities. He was a strictly sexual encounter. There was a time when I was dancing professionally and moved to New York to study dance at the Alvin Ailey school and wanted to be black so I would get picked for the dance company. Never happened. I instead went to do Summer Stock in New Hampshire and found out I could sing as well as dance and performed in a few shows.
So what is the point of all this banter? I'm getting to it. The truth is going back to my first blog, we are all one. In the universal scheme of things, there is no seperation between races and we are all members of the same club called "Mankind". When I was in New Hampshire getting my musical theater education doing summer stock that one summer, I had this experience that altered how I saw and felt about people and myself. I got very sick and one afternoon, had an out of body experience. I had this strange feeling, I couldn't move my body but I was hovering above it and heard this voice. I yelled first, "it's not my time yet", meaning I wasn't supposed to die. Then this voice exclaimed "if you go back, you must love all mankind." Well, if that wasn't something for the books. So here I am, many years later, still trying to just love myself, let alone mankind. But I do know, that is my ultimate job being her on this planet. I must love all mankind and that includes everybody. So how does one do that? Well, by not judging anyone(ha ha ha) ever try that? Everyone I see, I must have a feeling of love and compassion. If I feel anything other than love, it is not coming from God but from my own heart and mind. I'm glad I did learn how to detach with love in an Al-Anon meeting cause I would be in big trouble right about now. With all the people in the world and the way they may approach me or reproach me, I must love them but fortunately I don't have do anything but feel love for them. In the reality of things, I'm actually just feeling God's love and that is sufficient. Now that I'm learning how to love myself and treat myself kindly(something very new and different) it is easier to love all of mankind. My new friends, the ex-husbands, my deceased parents, the people who made fun of me because of my mentally retarded brother, everyone that I have ever known. I do feel love for them now. This man I met in Dallas once said, don't worry about being love or giving love, you are love. That was an eye-opener for me. I don't always remember that but I work towards knowing it in my bones. Only once did I truly feel the Universal love all around us and that was during a Ramadhan in New York in the seventies. It is indescribable but it is real and it is the truth. At the end of my favorite film, Strictly Ballroom, everyone dances around to the song "Love is in the Air" and it is all around us. Now if only I can translate loving all of mankind into an income producing activity. I'm only half serious. lol. Here is to love!!
It is an odd journey we take, this back-and-forth pendulum swing between inner awareness and taking care of the outer necessities. I do know there is a path there for us, but whether or not we are willing to see it, and then take it, is a different matter. Perhaps that's why 'courage' was added to patience, sincerity, and surrender.
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