Truth or Consequences

As I child I used to watch this show on TV called "Truth or Consequences" and I think it was a very young Bob Barker as the host. I barely remember what was done on the show but what I do remember is that I liked it, it was fun, and it was something I could watch with my mother and brother. Then many years later I noticed there is even a town called Truth or Consequences in New Mexico. It think it was in my 20's when I found out what the word consequences meant. I had Brazilian parents and much of the time they spoke Portuguese around me as a child. My one huge regret in this life is that I didn't learn the language fluently. How different my life would have been had I spoken Portuguese. I would be singing in nightclubs Brazilian songs as a living most likely. Well, I wasn't around people who spoke a lot of English and it is just in the last four years that I have become in love with the English language since I began going to school and writing. Writing a lot. I love words. What they mean, what they can become to mean when written in a certain way. I love the word Truth. I love the way John Leguizamo says the word truth in the film Moulin Rouge.

I'm not crazy about the word consequences. It has a kind of forboding quality to it but it can come in handy. In disciplining my kids, I used the word to remind them that when they misbehaved they would have to face the consequences. When remembering all the things I did in the past and how they are coming back to bite me in the butt. When you charge something on a credit card the consequences is that you will go into DEBT! Big one...and if you don't put gas in your car, you will get stuck somewhere and not be able to drive. There are the other big ones like if you sleep with a man unprotected, you have a good chance of getting pregnant or if you smoke a lot of cigarettes, your lungs can turn black. How our whole life is filled with consequences for our actions. I think what happened in the 60's, I adopted the word karma and I kind of like that one better. Means the same thing as consequences but it is more exotic and foriegn. I hope I have been building good karma with my love and compassion for my fellow brothers and sisters. I'm certainly not a perfect person and lately feeling kind of down-trodden with no real job and money in the bank. But I will plow thru this time because it can't last forever and hope my good karma kicks in and I get to the other side of this test. What is the main question on this test? Well, it is how much faith do I have in God's beneficence and mercy. Can I trust that at the moment I need something, my need will be fulfilled? Let me tell ya...this is one bitch of a test. Many years ago, an Egytian man told me a story about a beggar in the courtyard of a small village, he would sit out and wait for someone to give him his morning food. If anyone tried to give him food for the whole day he would refuse it because he wanted to make sure he kept the faith that later in the day he would be provided for. Boy, did I not get that one right away until I was put in the same boat. One day at a time is nothing compared to one hour at a time. That is how I have to live right now. One hour at a time. Trust in God and his mercy and benefinence. That is my big lesson right now. I feel like posting a disclaimer and telling you all, don't try this at home but I can't. If God sees fit that you need this test. Surrender, let it all go. Everything in your hand, let it go. He will provide. Reminds me a little of this song I sing to myself on occasion. "Life is just a bowl of cherries". The line goes "the sweet things in life, to you are just loaned, so how can you lose, what you never owned. Wow! do I love that line. So, I'm off for my morning walk and basking in the glorius sunshine of Los Angeles. I'll leave with you with one truth that I do know. God is large and in charge! Have a lovely Sunday whoever may read this. Love and Light! Pilar